Whenever a controversy involving a well-known personality emerges in Pakistan, a storm of reactions immediately follows on social media, television channels, and public forums. The recent discussion surrounding Saqib Chadhar and Momina Iqbal is yet another example of the same pattern. Thousands of comments are being made, videos are being produced, threads are being written, and everyone seems engaged in trying to declare one party guilty and the other a victim according to their own perspective. Yet, amid all this noise, one fundamental question continues to be pushed into the background.
Liberal and secular circles, in particular, are focusing their attention on determining “who was more wrong.” Some argue that the man exercised power and influence, others portray the woman as the victim, some link gifts and favors to emotional exploitation, while others describe the matter simply as a “toxic relationship.” The overall narrative, therefore, is built on the assumption that a close and private relationship indeed existed between the two.
At this point, it is important to clarify one thing: making moral, religious, or legal allegations against anyone without evidence is neither ethical nor justifiable. Nor is it appropriate to indulge in character assassination or treat rumors as facts. However, when different groups themselves are presenting the matter as a real relationship, another question inevitably arises—and that question may be the most important one in the entire discussion.
If we accept their own framing of the issue, then it becomes necessary to ask: what is the moral, legal, and social status of such relationships in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan? Unfortunately, this question is deliberately pushed to the background. The entire focus is shifted toward determining “who was more guilty” within the relationship—who manipulated whom, who gave gifts, or who issued threats. But what is not asked is whether such a relationship itself was appropriate in the first place.
Pakistan is not merely a geographical state; it is an ideological country founded upon Islamic principles. Its social structure, family system, and moral framework are deeply rooted in Islam. That is why institutions such as marriage, family, and defined social boundaries have always held central importance. If the foundation of any relationship lies outside these boundaries, then focusing solely on who the “greater victim” was becomes a way of escaping the core issue.
The tragedy of our time is that modern media and social media culture have attempted to normalize many things that do not align with Pakistani societal values. In dramas, films, web series, and online culture, informal relationships, secret affairs, and emotional entanglements are often portrayed as ordinary human behavior. As a result, when such matters arise in real life, the fundamental moral questions are suppressed, and the entire discourse is reduced to emotional slogans or gender-based divisions.
Another dimension of this debate is equally important. Liberal circles often present morality as a “personal matter” in which society should not interfere. However, when such relationships lead to disputes, threats, allegations, or character assassination, the same circles begin to speak about ethics, power imbalances, and emotional exploitation. The question then arises: if a relationship is declared a matter of personal freedom from the outset, how can one later escape social and moral scrutiny of its consequences?
Ordinary Pakistani citizens, however, seem to perceive this contradiction quite clearly. That is why public reaction is not limited to questions such as who gave gifts or who issued threats. People are also asking broader questions about what kind of relationships are being normalized by media and elite culture. There is growing concern about what would remain of social values, family structure, and moral boundaries if every inappropriate relationship is justified under the label of “personal choice.”
The reality is that the strength of any society is not only tied to its economy or politics but also to its moral foundation. When boundaries begin to weaken, relationships start forming not on trust, responsibility, and respect, but on temporary desires, personal interests, and emotional pressure. This eventually leads to conflict, blackmail, allegations, and psychological distress. Social media courts emerge, character judgments are passed, and society becomes a spectator to its own moral confusion.
In such a situation, the real need is to shift the focus from personalities to principles. If two individuals are walking on a wrong path, then merely debating who was “more guilty” later is an incomplete analysis. The more important question should be whether the path itself was right or wrong. Unfortunately, this is the question that is least often asked in our society.
It is also a reality that Pakistani society is not yet fully prepared to embrace a purely Western secular framework of morality. The majority of people still value family systems, religious principles, and ethical boundaries. Perhaps this is why, whenever such scandals emerge, public discourse does not remain limited to legal or emotional dimensions but also raises questions about moral legitimacy.
There is a need to approach such issues not as entertainment or sensational news, but as reflections of deeper social realities. If society remains confined to binaries such as man versus woman, powerful versus weak, or emotional slogans, then the real moral crisis will never be addressed. A serious society is one that rises above momentary emotions and openly engages with its foundational principles and values.
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