Consent of the Girl and Permission of the Guardian Are Both Essential

(Columnist / Resident Editor Europe – Savaira News WebTV / Executive Member PPCUK Midlands)

In today’s world, a person does not compromise on their choice of clothes, shoes, watch, perfume, or even skincare products— so why, when it comes to choosing a life partner, is it treated like a death sentence if choice is involved?
After all, this is a compromise for an entire lifetime.

Why does our society fail to understand this simple reality?

The decision of choosing a life partner should be made with great wisdom.

Islam commands that this decision be made on merit.

The lifestyle, values, environment, and education of both families should be compatible, so that two individuals who are to spend their lives together can understand one another and live with dignity.

As far as personal choice is concerned, Allah Almighty Himself has granted human beings the right to choose.

However, crossing the limits set by Allah or violating His boundaries in the name of choice is a grave sin.

The most precious gift a man can give a woman is respect.

A person who cannot give respect is untrustworthy.

An honourable man will accept a woman with dignity and grace, and will consider her the most valuable companion of his life.

Sending a proposal respectfully through the guardian (wali) is the beginning of a dignified relationship.

Likewise, a guardian should not reject a proposal merely due to caste, ego, or arrogance.

A wali must consult his daughter.

If the proposal is respectable, the man is of good character and morals, then a decision should be made.
If the proposal does not meet merit, it should be rejected—

and the man should not turn this rejection into an ego issue.

In our ignorant society, girls are even killed over such matters.

They are humiliated and disgraced.

It is true that no one in the world can be a greater well-wisher of a daughter than her father.

Whatever decision he makes, he believes it to be in her best interest.

However, it is also possible that the proposal presented to the guardian does not match the daughter’s temperament or standards, and often it is a close blood relation.

In our society, most damage is caused by emotional decisions.

The consequences of such decisions are borne by women, while men move on to second marriages.
As a result, a woman’s entire life is ruined.

On the other hand, young women also rebel against forced marriages.

There is a collective moral flaw in our society:
we have reduced religion to nothing more than discussions of four marriages and houris in heaven.

When it comes to men’s own interests, they present Shariah and Sunnah, but when women’s rights are discussed, outdated cultural practices are brought forward.

This imbalance leads to injustice, and unjust decisions give rise to social instability and rebellion.

Our society has become a breeding ground for hypocrisy, oppression, and injustice.
As a result, Allah’s mercy has been lifted from it.
The so-called honour-keepers of our society must study the blessed life of the beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
and reflect on how he made decisions.
When the daughter of an enemy came as a prisoner of war,
the beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ placed his own cloak over her head
and sent her away with honour and safety.
What kind of followers of religion are those
who deceitfully call home a woman who has been married and living with her husband for a year,
drag her into a crowd, and brutally shoot her dead?
That woman, holding the Qur’an in her hands, says:
“Shoot me, but do not touch me, and do not dishonour my body.
I have performed nikah; I have not committed adultery.”
Pure love and mutual choice should lead only to nikah, a blessed act.
Anything beyond that is misguidance and a major sin,
with severe punishment and Allah’s intense displeasure.
Shame should consume those so-called honourable men
who feel death when it comes to giving women their rights or inheritance,
yet suddenly awaken with ‘honour’ when it comes to killing them.
And if character were to be examined,
not a single person in that violent crowd would meet Islamic standards.
The state must make examples of such brutal individuals,
so that many daughters can be protected.
Lessons on humanity and the status and honour of women in Islam
should be included in educational curricula,
so that awareness can develop—
that humanity is a noble responsibility,
that a woman is a mercy,
a completion of faith,
and carries paradise beneath her feet.
And Allah’s command is clear:
“Fear Me in matters concerning women.”